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As Solomon, the wisest man of all, said, “For wisdom is better than jewels, and all that you may desire cannot compare with her”, (Proverbs ). A man who does not want counsel and hides from accountability is a man who is not ready to be open with a wife.He may seem strong and independent, but he may actually be prideful.And if he is not ready to be a husband, dating him could only have a sorrowful outcome.Marriage is a covenantal bond between a man and a woman where there is dependence—to a certain extent.Spouse abuse by an angry man does not usually randomly begin fifteen years into a marriage. Abuse is not only physical- it can also be emotional. If he is more concerned with worldly pleasure than pleasing God in being an honorable and responsible man, this is not the kind of man who will rightly point his family toward Christ-likeness. The Bible has a name for the guy who has the Peter-Pan syndrome: he is called “the sluggard.” Proverbs mentions him several times, including in Proverbs 6:9-11, which states, “How long will you lie there, O sluggard? A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest, and poverty will come upon you like a robber, and want like an armed man.” What is this man’s work ethic? Is he unhealthily dependent on his friends or family?A man may apologize to you over and over again, but if he has abused you even once, leave the dating relationship immediately. Encourage him to find a godly man who can help him, but you should get out fast. Has he not taken adult responsibility such as his living arrangements or expenses? If your date is a flirt or has many close female friends (especially previous girlfriends), this is something to take as a caution.As cute as his flirtation may have seemed toward you, it might also be an indicator that he likes “playing the field” and will continue to—even just in seemingly harmless ways—after marriage. A man who is unwilling to take counsel shows that he is prideful instead of humble.
But remember, the decision is ultimately up to you.I am not implying that a man has to be a prude, but he is to be a protector.If a man is addicted to pornography, he is already committing adultery/fornication in his heart, even before you tie the knot.If there is always that possibility, then you must ask yourself whether this person has the qualities you will need in a husband. Ask yourself these questions: How strong is his relationship with Jesus Christ? How passionate is he about reading God’s Word, prayer, and fellowship with other believers in a biblically solid church? However, in Ephesians Paul compares a husband’s role toward his wife with that of Christ’s role toward His Bride, the Church, “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, the she might be holy and without blemish,” (Ephesians -27, emphasis mine).Christ’s role and a husband’s role do differ because only Christ alone can truly cleanse us.