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Please note that the posts on The Blogs are contributed by third parties. Dating in your 30s is a nightmare, Jewish dating is worse, and a Jewish woman in her mid-30s looking for a husband is over the hill.
The opinions, facts and any media content in them are presented solely by the authors, and neither The Times of Israel nor its partners assume any responsibility for them. If you have not glanced over and your eyes locked with the man of your dreams or at least your interest and you start dating you are relegated to the world of online dating, matchmakers and friends setting you up.
Like every other issue in the Jewish community, it is swept under the rug and glossed over.
If there is anything written they are geared to those in their twenties who are in shidduchim or who still can be involved with youth groups, whether at university, the local synagogue or through Israel trips and would find it easier to meet a nice Jew to date and settle down.
” Although peppered with her brand of humor and more overtly sexual than any of the average Jewish matchmaker would ever approve but her view of the difficulties of navigating dating and finding a husband in one’s thirties is spot on.
For Jews living in both the religious and secular worlds, their problems of dating in their thirties are doubled.
Queens College sociology professor Samuel Heilman, spoke with The New Republic about the Orthodox world’s disregard for the individual and reliance on the community in the article “Ultra-Orthodox Jews Panicked Over Shidduch Matchmaking Crisis.” Heilman explained, “It’s all about communal ties. For the women, it’s about school, the children, other mothers.
If she’s not a mother, she’s nobody.” While Orthodox journalist Yossi Krausz claims that single women, “Basically, from the perspective of the community, they don’t really exist.” Maayan Jaffe-Hoffman noted in her article, “Jewish Singles are People,” too that “many singles feel isolated from and stigmatized by the Jewish community,” while many receive “second-class treatment by matchmakers.” Jaffe-Hoffman indicates, “Singles in general say they feel ill-judged by their communities simply for not being married.” Women are often blamed for their singledom, accusing that “women are not trying hard enough, not religious enough (or too religious), not pretty enough, are too fat or too picky.” Although not as drastic in the Modern Orthodox world, the Jewish community, in general, relies on the community of married families with children.
The crisis is based on demographics, there are more young women of marriageable age, which is 18-19-years-old and up in the community’s standards than young men, who usually start getting married after they complete Yeshiva at 22-23-years-old.
The problems with dating are even more glaring in one’s thirties.
The “stakes are higher” and one is even more choosy, there is no just no use in dating someone where there is no future.
There is no such thing as wining, dining, or respect, the cheaper the date the better and considering these men their looks, personality, and temperament, they should be trying to sell themselves.
However, they all look at women in their thirties as damaged goods.